?

Log in

The only freedom left is the freedom to starve [entries|friends|calendar]
on the t.h.i.n.l.i.n.e

bang bang. pull the trigger doll.
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[14 Jan 2007|12:39pm]

exist_tonothing
Name: Nicole
Age: 18
Height: 5'8
Current weight: approx. 195
Highest weight: approx. 235
Lowest weight: approx. 165
Short term Goal weight: 175
Long term Goal weight: 135
How long have you had an ED? about three years now.
What is your ED? ednos, with anorexic and compulsive eating tendencies.

Friends would be lovely; new journal that my "irl" friends (and the majority of my net friends, since they would worry about me) don't know about and are therefore not on my friend's list.
bang

[03 May 2006|05:39pm]

i_scar_myself
Name:Madeline
Age:15
Height:5'3" (last time I checked at least)
Current weight:128
Highest weight:140
Lowest weight:119
Short term Goal weight:120
Long term Goal weight:110
How long have you had an ED? For a few months now.
What is your ED? Anorexia

I'd like to ask any mia's out there for some help. I can't get myself to throw up. Help me please.
bang

[29 Apr 2006|01:19pm]

jessicastrix
thoughts that are going through my mind:

"i want strawberry milk - it fills me up and is low in calories. if i only put two t-spoons of mix into my milk, that's only 110 calories added with the calories in milk. that's still under 500 cals for today...

it isn't green tea or water but it's still a liquid! which means if i drink it, i won't be breaking my liquids only fast...!"


but you know what? if i accept that, then i'll become more & more lenient with myself and thoughts like that will only bring me down.
therefore, i'm shutting those thoughts out of my mind.
no, i will NOT drink that damn strawberry milk - i didn't allow it in my fast!
if i drink it, i'll start to accept those kinds of thoughts in my head and then i'll start to eat food before my fast is over.

thoughts that say,

"oh, it's only one small cookie... hardly any calories in it!"

FUCK THAT!


green tea and water, here i come...
bang

Community Survery. [12 Mar 2006|06:00pm]

accepted_until
[ mood | cold ]

Name: Victoria
Age: 12
Height: 5'1"
Current weight: 100
Highest weight: 104
Lowest weight: 97
Short term Goal weight: 95
Long term Goal weight: 85
How long have you had an ED? About a year, on an off.
What is your ED? Anorexia and bulimia.  I suppose depression if that ties in at all.

bang

[09 Jun 2005|03:52pm]

hey_lyla
Name: Lyla
Age: 17
Height: 5'8
Current weight:110
Highest weight:114
Lowest weight:99
Short term Goal weight:95
Long term Goal weight:98
How long have you had an ED? 2 years
What is your ED? Ana

Hey, just joined. Everyone tells me I'm thin, but I know I'm fat. I'm just looking for some support and thinspiration.
3appologized for their misconceptions|bang

[08 Jun 2005|12:19am]
_____niggga

I'm new here and to this whole livejournalyness thing too. soooo.

Name:Andrea
Age:14
Height:5' 3''
Current weight:97
Highest weight:105
Lowest weight:93
Short term Goal weight:85
Long term Goal weight:90
How long have you had an ED?1 year
What is your ED?bulimia

I was wondering if anybody would like to join me in a fasting shindig. Well not exactly a shindig but a fast atleast. I've neevr done one so I'm proud to say I would be a fasting virgin and it would be an honor if I could share my first time with some of you =) so since i'm new to this fasting buisness do you ahve any tips or are there like ground rules or something? I was thinking a seven day juice and water fast or something like that...

3appologized for their misconceptions|bang

[31 May 2005|12:53am]
transientlove
Name: Megan
Age: 18
Height: 5'9 1/2"
Current weight: 180
Highest weight: 200+
Lowest weight: 173
Short term Goal weight: 150
Long term Goal weight: 90
How long have you had an ED? a year
What is your ED? ed-nos with anorexia tendencies
bang

[30 May 2005|01:07pm]

natalielight
[ mood | bitchy ]

***
I will be thin. I will be light as snow and pure as air. I am a beautiful person on the inside, there is no reason (apart from lazy self-indulgence) why I shouldn't be on the outside.
I will be perfect. I will smile and nod at the right times and stand up and be strong whenever it is required of me.
I will stop relying on other people. I will overcome the urge to scream and shout and tell them how I really feel. I will stop wanting altogether. I will be a pillar of strength for others and never ask for anything myself.
I will give myself my old determination and do something other than eat, study and sleep.
***
I am going to become what I find most beautiful... regardless of what it take to get there.
Can't wait until exams are over..
Been in a really sensitive mood lately.
Been getting really angry with people too, for no reason.
I miss my uncle Misha. If he was here he'd make everything all better again. Sometimes I like to think he's watching down on me... protecting me.
Somewhere, deep down, I know I'll be ok. I don't know why. I don't know how.
***
I ate pretty much normally for the last week. It nearly killed me. Every day was felt like a week I was in such emotional turmoil. I don't think I'll ever be normal.
Anyway, that's all in the past.
I have to be the thinnest, I have to be visibly better so that I can feel secure and light.
But I'm not unhappy, I'm coping okay at this level.
I just feel very isolated.
Then on Thursday and Friday, I went crazy and hit about 1000kcal. I'm sure you know the kind of detached HORROR you feel when you do something really awful like this.
In a moment's panic, I just bought a chocolate bar out of a vending machine in the hospital,where I visited my grandma and ate it, with the intention of fasting tomorrow, and hopefully fooling my metabolism for a bit longer.
I do want to lose more weight.
I do want to lose more weight.
I DO DO DO.
I need somebody to talk to, somebody... anybody... to feel my pain. I am fucking pathetic and I know it.
***

bang

[25 May 2005|01:29pm]

natalielight
[ mood | artistic ]

I'm not going to lie, I have been extremely bad yesterday , and I want to kick myself in the ass for it.I ate a small salad,pancakes with cheese and drank almost an entire liter bottle of Coke, and not diet. I wish I could take that all back but I can't.
I feel kinda sick from eating, and I wish I could change what I have eaten but I can't, and I regret it big time.
Today I've been really good. I've only had stuff to drink, and now gum which helps A LOT!.
I will be thin. I will be light as snow and pure as air. I am a beautiful person on the inside, there is no reason (apart from lazy self-indulgence) why I shouldn't be on the outside.
I will be perfect. I will smile and nod at the right times and stand up and be strong whenever it is required of me. I will have everybody wanting to be me, not having a clue about what goes on inside.
Ok, I am going to go work out, and then get a shower and go out or something. Byes.

bang

[23 May 2005|03:12pm]

natalielight
[ mood | chipper ]

Positively Pro Choice

Why?

Why would anyone be glad to have an eating disorder? I don't know, but sometimes I am. Sometimes I like being proud of myself for not eating. Sometimes I wish for nothing more than to be "normal" and not have my disorders. Sometimes I don't know who I would be without them. Sometimes I feel cursed. Sometimes I feel blessed.
To me, Anorexia is a painful lover, but I can't let her go.

Ana tells you that you do not need all the crap they're trying to feed to you (literally and figuratively). You are above it all, you transcend normal, human needs. While everyone around you has to give in and cram their mouths with food, you can sit back and calmly refuse. You don't NEED food.


A good thing about having an eating disorder is that you know there is something you can control. I cannot control my mental health--almost 2 decades of insanity and the use of almost every psychiatric drug there is has proven that fact. But I CAN control what I eat. I can control my disorder.

bang

[27 Apr 2005|01:39pm]

natalielight
[ mood | artistic ]

My History With "Ed"
***
Ana, my maker, my destroyer....
I had met Ana, although at the time I didn't know her by name. All I knew is that I had decided to stop stuffing my face and get skinny.
For the first time in my life, I was beautiful. I was strong.
I realize now that there is no "normal" for someone like me. I am an extremist, it's everything or nothing at all.
I choose nothing.
I also have to accept that Ana doesn't give up easily. I can't just "drop" my eating disorder--it's not like a "diet" that you can just "quit". It's like opening a Pandora's box--once it's let out, it's hard to put back.
I feel like I’m in love with her beauty, simplicity, control and discipline.
My sweet Ana is a faithful friend, but such a demanding lover. Ana racks you with sharp, unbearable headaches from lack of food. Ana blacks you out and makes you fall down. Ana tells you to "sit down before you drop dead". Ana tells you you're doing it right when the stabbing stomach pains force you to sit down and curl up in agony. Ana makes you who you are--strong, light and free. Ana makes you better than all of those mindless weak pathetic drones, shoving gruel in their mouths like pigs at a trough. Quite honestly I would rather die than be fat like I was before.

bang

[27 Apr 2005|01:16pm]

natalielight
[ mood | artistic ]

Here’s an example of my eating habits at the time: I would pick one food, and eat it, and only it, for months. I would create around it this extraordinary ritual for both its preparation and its consumption. It was not as though I decided to only eat these things, it just became that way.
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul.
~Radiohead "Creep"
I have always been depressed, even in elementary school I wasn't able to enjoy something without a cloud of worrying and fear over my head. When both home and school is a nightmare, how are you then supposed to cope?
I was really skinny as a kid. I could eat a lot and not gain, or I could go almost all day without eating. But I didn't have to think about food. I was really skinny naturally.
**~*No Dreamer is ever too small, no dream is ever too big.*~**
Most of the time I am intuitive, sensitive and feel intense to the slightest emotions I embrace. I have an emotional and beneficial side and, like a river, I can run real deep. I love to take the sense of the world and decipher it into an artistic view.

bang

[25 Apr 2005|03:09pm]

natalielight
[ mood | accomplished ]

Name:Natalie
Gender:female
Age:21
Location:Lithuania
Eating Disorder:Ana
Height:5"1 (156cm)
Current Weight:107.8lbs.
Highest Weight:121
Lowest Weight:99
Short Term Goal Weight:99
Long Term Goal Weight:94.6
Goal for next month:99
Size of pants:the smallest!
Favorite quote:what nourishes me,also destroys me.
Biggest thinspiration:Mary Kate Olsen and Kate Moss
you can also see my ana website here http://anasarebeautiful.narod.ru
i'm always happy finding ana buddies and even more happy snail mailing with them;)))

bang

[13 Mar 2005|09:00pm]

sarah9999
hi everyone i`m new.

Name: Sarah.
Age: 14
Height: 5'0
Current weight: 95
Highest weight: 98
Lowest weight: 70
Short term Goal weight: 80
Long term Goal weight: 70
How long have you had an ED: 3 months
What is your ED: anorexia.
BMI: 18.6
6appologized for their misconceptions|bang

mods - delete if not allowed [23 Feb 2005|02:31am]

oxinterruptedxo
[ mood | cranky ]



Must have a BMI of 17.5 or less.
Must read rules in info before attempting to apply (which includes posting stats in your info).

1appologized for their misconception|bang

[20 Jan 2005|03:58am]
__just_lose_it_
come join ednos_ana_home





bang

[09 Jan 2005|02:29am]
anaratings
bang

[18 Dec 2004|02:40pm]

anasisters_
[ mood | fat ]

okay guys, i need your help. there's only a week until christmas and i'm such a fat ass! i want to lose as much weight as possible in the next week, and then more before i have to go back to school from winter break. i need all the tips you can give. should i do a water fast or should i do the 2-4-6 diet? calcium or no calcium? any tips will help guys, ANYTHING. PLEASE, I NEED YOUR HELP!!

bang

[13 Nov 2004|09:04am]

etoilemourant
Name: Shannon
Age: 12 (13 on 11/21)
Height: 5 ft
Current weight: 105
Highest weight: 112
Lowest weight: 102
Short term Goal weight: 95 (By my birthday, 11/21)
Long term Goal weight: 85
How long have you had an ED? 3 years on and off
What is your ED? Anorexia

I lurk more than I post. But I do read every entry. Feel free to contact me through AIM, Etoile Mourant.
bang

[29 Oct 2004|05:06pm]

lemonfossil
Name: Natasha
Age: 14
Height: 5'5"
Current weight: 167 last time i checked (ewww.)
Highest weight: 180
Lowest weight: 120
Short term Goal weight: 140
Long term Goal weight: 110
How long have you had an ED? 1 & a half years (on& off)
What is your ED? ana, at one point mia (a long time ago)

this sickens me, it really does. this fyll feeling is just horrid.
bang

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]